MassageFreek

Massage and God talks: Continued…

Thursday, April 24th, 2008 | Business Insights, Deep Tissue, Kink Friendly, Massage, Polyamory, blogging, healthly living, injury treatment, spirituality, stress | No Comments

So why am I saying I’m talking about God now? Very simple - and I’ll get to it.

I’ve been doing injury treatment massage for the last 7 years. I have averaged somewhere around 10 hours of intensive massage a week over the course of that 7 years.

Back when I was working at Monroe Therapeutic massage clinic in Totem Lake, Washington, I would do as many as 25 to 30 hours a week of problem-solving, bodily-demanding massage.

I saw everything: I saw lots of people who’d suffered from car wrecks, stress injuries, work falls and injuries, recovery from surguries, foot issues, airplane crashe victims, people who’d fallen from 5-story buildings, leg/hip and sciatic issues, carpal tunnel, thoracic outlet syndrome, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and whiplash - to name a few.

I was a workhorse. I thought I would always want to work like that. In my youthful idealistic and naive thinking, I thought “I want to do this for the rest of my life! Surely I will want to work this many hours for the rest of my life too!”

yeah….

NOT TRUE!

So as I mentioned in my previous post; I realized just about 2 weeks ago, that I was tired of working that many massage hours in a week. It was difficult to admit that to myself since I had equated the desire to work lots of massage hours in a week to my passion and love for massage.

I thought that admitting that I didn’t want to work so many hours meant that I didn’t love massage anymore.

Of course, this is not true. I very much love massage but I admit that working more than 10 hours/ appointments of Deep tissue every week is not what I want to do anymore. My body isn’t feeling up to it and my mind seems to have a limit to how long it can be in that deep tissue/injury treatment state.

I had an identity crisis - not to mention - a good lot of fear around how to make money and pay the bills when I my ideal massage hours would not pay for my office, my home, my car and my life.

I was totally freaking out, man.

I looked for the answers in teachings I had studied for the last 10 or so years. Wayne Dyer had said in one of his talks that when you find your “heart’s passion” or “that thing that inspires you without fail” that it will get you up in the morning, fulfill your needs, make you prosperous, attract the perfect people and situations to you…

I had secretly been wanting that “heart’s desire” experience for years. Underneath my obvious love for massage, I was looking at my practice thinking “I really love this - I’ll always want it in my life - I’ll always be practicing massage - but… this is not my passion - it doesn’t do that thing he talks about - I’m getting tired of it (oh crap!)”

The first step was admitting I had a problem.

The next step, for me at least, was opening myself up to the answers for what to do besides massage. My pre-requisets were:
1. do something that requires my mind and not my physical exertion so much
2. do something that I can do NOW - as apposed to going back to school.
3. do something that, every morning when I wake up, I’m excited about the activities I am doing.
4. it has to be fun
5. it has to make me money.

In order to make this more short and less long and drawn-out: I talked to lots of people, meditated, prayed and cried and screamed.

What came to me was very interesting. The first few ideas were pretty easy to do but will take some leg work.

Here they are:
1. get deep tissue LMP subletters for the Broadway Massage Freek office
2. Hold classes on: how to give good massage, care for carpal tunnels, couple’s massage and other workshops all about educating the general population on massage and how to care for themselves in a bodywork type of way
3. Consultation for new LMP’s: inform them on the industry, what’s available, how to make a long career in massage and how to get their needs met over a long period of time as an active LMP

It was a good start. I had a conversation with a good friend of mine, Barry Hurd, who, if you do not know, is something of a jack of all trades. He has had jobs and hobbies that include everything from computer fixing and marketing to sword making and night-club management.

He told me I needed to do something totally different from massage. Just get out of the field and expand my experience and my mind. It scared me. I was attached to massage. For the last 7 years - that’s all I’ve been up to. But I took the advice and stayed open.

About 2 weeks ago - I went to Texas to visit my Grandmother in Texas. It was a trip I’d planned 3 months or more before. It was interesting timing as I was in the thick of my fear and wondering what I was ever going to do. Funny thing: my Grandma is a republican Christian right-wing 89 year old living-in-Texas-for-40-plus-years sort of gal. Her “walk with God” is amazing to me.

NOw! before you run screaming - just remember, I am not a christian or a republican, nor has my grandmother converted me to a Baptist. (tho I did take the Lord Jesus Christ as my persoanl saviour… again… for like the 8th time in my life)

She and I have an interesting relationship. I don’t tell her that I hang out with polyamorous, swinging kinky people - not a chance - but I do talk about God with her.

I have been “into” new age, buddhism, philosophy and the study of Law of attraction (etc.) for the last 9 or so years. It all started with a little well-known book called “Conversations with God.” That book got me started down a path of study that I will always be interested in.

Getting back to my Grandmother in Texas: I had a change of environment. I spent time with this super-godly woman, we prayed a lot and I just laid it out for her that I was scared and didn’t know what I was going to do for career or cash. Often she just laughed as if she knew something and wasn’t letting me in on the joke.

Then a most amazing thing happened. We visited a dress shop in my grandma’s small town of Cleburne - she owns the building in which the dress shop is located. I was inspired as I looked thru the selection of wedding gowns, ball gowns and formal dresses realized there was a work of art on every hanger - even the sale rack.

My mind started buzzing and I started talking to the son of the shop lady - I talked to him about 1 hour strait on how the shop had national potential and I rattled off ideas on how to get nation-wide interest and sales.

Then his mother (the shop owner) came back from where ever she was and they listened to me, raptly, for the next 2 hours as I talked about blogs, consultation, networking, buyers, magazine coverage, strategies and tactics on how to make their business boom.

My Grandma and I walked out of that store and for sure, we knew that INSPIRATION had occurred! Praise God - a sign had been given!

That experience opened the floodgates up for me. After that - I knew that I would find my answers. I knew that I could totally do some sort of work that was fun and inspiring to me.

During that weekend and ever since then - I have come to realize that my heart’s desire - the thing I’m always passionate about was right under my nose the whole time - I love talking about god.

No matter what state of rest or unrest I am in, no matter where I’m “at” - I love to talk about, study, practice, and teach faith, god and religions.

I do not have an assigned or self-proclaimed religion. I do not see the point.

I study and practice a few of them. I even enjoy talking about faith with those who are agnostic or atheist. There’s validity in all the ways that humans have sought to understand life, God and the obvious intelligence and organization of this planet and universe.

This is a really long post. I wonder if anyone will get thru it. ha!

It doesn’t really matter to me anymore. I’m so tired of worrying about losing clients or reputation points because of this blog. I have been so stuck as to what I should write when everything in me says, “Write in it like it’s your LiveJournal - only don’t make it about love and boys… make it about business, society, massage, your own experience and all you’re raw, real opinions and views on those things - just make it a touch more professional.”

My rough plan for this blog is to write in it more often without so many fears and filters. I might just post some poetry or short random quotes. I need to do anything that just gets me off this fear of being visible.

I will post updates on how my massage practice is changing: rates hours and such. I will also be posting about classes, salons, workshops and support groups I will be having. I’ll get going on some experience stories in injury treatment so I can inform the public of what massage can do for injuries. Client education has always been a big deal to me.

After this - I shall have to talk to the SEO gurus and see how to get rankings in the things that I want to be found for. I’m not too pushy on that one. I figure things are still forming and I’m not entirely sure what searches will benefit my new-found career outlets.

In conclusion - I am truly pleased and excited for the future even though I do not know what will come or take shape. I do know, however, that I need not worry. The answers will come - sometimes it’s just ding the question to ask and then asking the question that can be difficult.

Please contact me with any questions. Leave comments telling me what you think because I am interested. Call me for massage - I’m really quite good, you should give me a try. And please, give me a message or call about your thoughts on God. I want to talk to people about faith. I would love to hear people’s stories and histories around god, wether its pretty or painful.

OH! and do know - I will NEVER try and make you believe in a religion or way of thinking that I like or practice. You’re life and your path is perfect for you. I just want to hear about it!

Seattle Massage Goddess goes effin’ nuts on God, Change… to be continued…

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008 | Business Insights, Craniosacral, Deep Tissue, Featured, Kink Friendly, Massage, Polyamory, blogging, healthly living, injury treatment, spirituality, stress | No Comments

There’s lots of space between posts this time.

I “shouldn’t” go this long without posting. need that constantly updated material, right? keep up with the Jones’s, or something like that.

I tend to go long periods of time off-line because of, well, a good many reasons. Many of them are “not serving me” as one could say.

Consistently updated and RELEVANT material.

Like new classes I’ve cooked up on teaching the general public how to give a good massage.

I interface with the web much like I interface with most of my life: on a rather intimate level.

I’ve tried many times to just “let her rip” and share all my random thoughts and interests, opinions, rants, advice as well as great notes on my massage injury treatment experience and my adventures in Cranio-sacral. I want to share what I’m up to but i have to admit - it scares me.

I’ve talked of this in previous posts. I have been trying to give an impression of my self and my business that “Really counts” or perhaps pulls a great many to my doorstep. I want to look good and sort of “tell” people what to think about me.

I think all that’s come across is that I get great reviews and need to post more often.

I know a ton about massage and injury treatment. I know a great deal about intimacy, god, sex and drugs. I know about how these things form the body over 10, 20, 30, 70 years. I get really random.

This sort of salad-tossed thinking really stops me from getting posts out on this bloody blog. Besides that… I don’t think I get SEO ratings for shit, so why try. I should make this post include the words massage, seattle, capital hill and fucking nuts on top of it all.

And now I’m going to start talking about God. I’ve been talking about kink all this time. At least on a private level as far as discussion groups, friend or client conversations,,, at tea here and there. It’s a part of my life as I am deeply immersed in the dark sub-culture worlds of kink, polyamory, swing, bdsm, fetish, goth and burner communities.

Seems appropriate to just choose more and more taboo subjects to razz people and myself with.

This all came from my own process of having to admit to myself that I need to do more than give massage all the time. OH no! I was a bit scared and that was 2 weeks ago.

Since then I’ve chosen to dig deep and look at myself. I want to be happy with my job! I want to have fun, I want to use my brain more than my body… what is there for me to do? counseling, directing and consulting with newly-grad LMP’s…

Are you a drama capsule?

Monday, April 9th, 2007 | Deep Tissue, Featured, Kink Friendly, Massage, Polyamory, blogging, stress | No Comments

As I hate to admit it… some of the trait’s described in Jenny Ford’s article on Uncluttering Your Emotional Space… I have done in the past.
I’m getting better, I am a healer after all.
I found this going through my live journal, checking out my friend’s page. The article was on The Goddess of Java’s polyamorous-focused blog.
Seemed appropriate to my audience, my business and my lifestyle.
I definitely cater to the poly crowd as well as the BDSM crowd. And as we are often a very passionate bunch, › Continue reading

Business as Kink-friendly Business Owner

Saturday, March 24th, 2007 | Business Insights, Kink Friendly, Massage, Polyamory | 4 Comments

There are pros and cons to the business world. There are pros and cons to the kink and poly worlds. As an open person in general and doing business with this truth about me, I have noticed appreciation and lack of appreciation for my particular expression in the business world.

I find generous pats on the back at my business concept… “Way to go, Sierra, you are being open about your lifestyle and running a business that embraces and capitalizes off it; right on! You go girl!” Then I find there is also a darker side to the whole experience of kink-friendly business expression. This darker side, as I put it, is made manifest in a few different ways, some rather intangible. I have found that there’s a certain element of not being taken seriously, fear from others of the unknown and strange, and judgment that makes it’s self-known in subtle ways in society. but I could be wrong, to use an old and friendly line from Dennis Miller

While talking to Domonic - a great marketing guru of the Biznik crowd - at the last biznik happy hour, he informed me that one of his colleagues used my massage Freek business and concept to illustrate target marketing in a powerful way.

So, while I know that I am not the world’s greatest writer and certainly have many years yet in front of me, to perfect the art of expression myself as a powerful and valid business entity, I still have valid and even wise information to contribute.

So I find it making my little brain do twists n turns and sad that while my other esteemed sponsors of the bizjam have been written up in the Bizjam blog… massage freek’s top sponsor“15 minutes of fame” has yet to be mentioned in the Bizjam blog.

Hmmmm
I wonder what that’s about? What am I sponsoring? A button?
So I’ve given a call and wait for a response with the words of excitement spoken to me by Dan ringing in my head from Tuesday when he told me he was going to blog about me.

This is an example of “something that is happening” that makes an emotional and even, I’ll admit it, dubious and guarded and apprehensive person like me think “hah, I wonder if this whole massage Freek “being open” thing… is freaking them out? Or is it just that since I’ve gone from “scattered kinkster starting a business” to “icon of target marketing” . maybe what I WAS… is still the way they see me in their minds. ”
Who knows at this point?
I am just going to use this as an illustration of a “what the fuck?” that can happen … that make me wonder… is this due to being and openly sex-positive and kinky business owner? Or have they just forgotten? Have they not gotten enough information from me?

I’m in this for my own heart and passion. I am writing a post on this, not only to express my irritation but also to give some … examples

of the possible Hazards or cons of being open, honest and kinky in business. Chances are there are others that are open and doing business within the context of their chosen alternative lifestyles. I think, perhaps, I am getting a dose of realism with this experience. Not only do I have to face facts that I’m not super experienced at business, but there is also a stigma(?) attached to being kink-friendly.
I have also encountered this odd question of stigma or fear (?) at the inquiries regarding my monthly networking happy hour at the spitfire.

I was getting lots of notes and post with concerns like this: “if I go to this happy hour, will this make others think that I am kinky or in a kinky lifestyle?”
So ok, there are issues about being “outed” or being labeled as something they are not. Totally valid concerns. Chances are, if you are worried about that sort of thing… there’s something there to be healed. So my advice would be to say just go for it and to hell with the labels that might be posted on you. Honor yourself, if you know you’re not going to like the possible labels… just stay away. If you are open minded; and you want to check it out, just know that you will be triggered and, possibly, you will come up against your own issues. very scary. yup.

Honor your path.
It just purifies the party, so to speak.
Which is why Dominic preaches the word of target marketing … Market with people you actually want to work with.
Do I have a point?
Sure, it’s there somewhere. I think at this point, my wise and sage advice might be the best next thing to write…

People in the sex-positive and kink worlds are used to being treated with strange and even crass, but sadly, usually unconsciously demeaning behavior from those who are “vanilla,” uneducated, inexperienced or just plain judgmental of the lifestyler in question’s life. My communities are used to hiding, having double lives or being so far out there and bold that they just bust right thru and you can’t help but admire them. I wonder if I fit into any of those categories?

So there’s this presence of open-mindedness, inner clarifying and dogged self-examination (because everyone I know in any alt lifestyle goes thru YEARS processing self-doubt, questioning their motives because of the opinions of their loved ones and society at large and, of course, how others treat them) that I have found in most of the individuals that live and know themselves to be members of the kink, alternative, sub-culture and sex-positive natured communities. With this sort of confidence, matured from monstrous amounts of internal and externally enlightening experience, the kinkster, the poly guy and the Goth ‘n’ punk alike, have a tendency to see “normal” people’s unresolved personal image and sexual issues activated in their dealings with the general population.

yay, us.

So basically, I am boldly saying that “mah peepole” (and me) get treatment that just … heals and enlightens at same time that it pisses them the fuck off. It becomes a learned response because it is so common to get a funky response that demands a kinkster to be gaurded and not want to be hurt and vulnerable.

But what can we do? (get a massage with someone who understands :P) Use it! That’s what I say. Use that time and energy spent in self-examination thru the years as you were trying to decide whether or not you were fucked up for wanting to have more than one boyfriend (and wanting them to know about it and get along) or liking to get tied up, to educate, tolerate and eventually accept the divinity that we ALL are expressing.

Cool thing about people like me and the whack-o’s of sub-culture and the sex-positive communities, is that we’re pretty damn forgiving. Most of us, due to aforementioned intensive soul searching, we sorta understand that people can’t help but be a bit shallow, unexamined and well…. appearance driven. (I know I’m appearance driven… I hate the fear of looking bad and I can honestly say I’ve feared being associated with a person or group that could make me look bad)

So I forgive, thru gritted teeth, and understand that everything happens not only because it does, but also because it is supposed to. I believe, strongly, that we attract situations in our lives that challenge us to be bigger and make the world and ourselves grow.

In fact, I would even say it is my mission in life to challenge and be challenged so that I “get bigger” (i.e. produce more, get more unstuck and less irrationally and negatively “triggered”) and inspire others to “be bigger” in their own lives.

I have learned that I am a mirror for others. We all are. but oh! the things I see! or percieve to see. I know for sure that there are some people that intend no harm that know no better. I know for sure that there are some that truely have mean-spiritied intents. I practice honoring my feelings, learning from mistakes, watching out for my own judgements and moving into a place of more love and peace.

Sometimes it just takes me a few tries. and a good rant. If only I had the balls of dennis miller. oy.

What can you do?

Hang out with your cool friends that think it’s pretty badass that you can take 1.25 hours of single-tail action and give blessings and toasts to those souls that just don’t know the freedom they are missing. I think there’s a Zen practice in there somewhere.

So yeah, watch out for a post about massage Freek on the bizjam blog and my generous contribution to the conference in the next few days(?) weeks(?) whenever they get around to it.